Anomaly.Monster
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Sometimes Our Dæmon is Human: A Dæmon Representing the Physical Body of a System

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Author: Swiftpaw
Written: 5/12/2024
Word Count: 2399

Dæmonism is an individual-centric type of community. It's about the connection between the individual (dæmonian) and their inner voice or inner voices (the dæmon, or dæmons), and involves a deep examination of the individual. This makes plurality and its intersection with dæmonism more complicated. Some systems can have multiple dæmons for each person in their system, others may have multiple dæmons in general, and some systems might have one dæmon. Our system has individual dæmons while also having a singular dæmon despite being hyper-individualistic.

Mebbit is our system's dæmon who was created in 2016. During the time xe was created, we thought we were a soulbonder host. Then when Mebbit was only a few months old, we realized we had actually been a system for our entire life, but our system still assumed we had a subsystem host that Mebbit was connected to. Later still we finally learned that the "subsystem host" was actually several headmates with similar mental patterns that were otherwise unrelated.

Mebbit (xe/xyr being used for this essay) was passed through this supposed "host", and when we realized that host wasn't real, it threw everything into question. Without a host for Mebbit to be the inner dialogue of and with a system that has differing inner dialogue, at first it didn't make sense that we had a single dæmon. Regardless, Mebbit was right there still existing with xyr own thoughts and feelings. We confirmed that Mebbit isn't a headmate in our system. While xe can enter the headspace at times, xe can't front and is still intrinsically tied to the body and represents some kind of thought stream.

Mebbit is a still a construct that represents our system, and xe represents our body. Mebbit has a unique experience of physical-based dæmonism where instead of representing our individual consciousness, xe is our collective consciousness, and xyr forms reflect our body and the environment. This intersects with our trans-species and physical nonhuman identity for our system.

Explaining Our System's Individual Consciousness

Our system is what we call hyper-individualistic. Despite there being some similarities and linked headmates, we fully view ourselves as individuals and experience dysphoria over being "one person". Explaining this is an important point in where we get to our dæmon's representations and experiences and xe is interpreted in the way xe is.

Individual dæmons in our system exist, but they are most often vague creatures that still have a non-corporeal body in most areas of the headspace. They can't normally be felt nor can they be seen beyond headspace-physical representations like totems or figures. They still have the level of being personal and private just as they are in the physical world.

"dæmon" as category in our system is also metaphorical. Someone might not have an intentionally created dæmon as in someone they can interact and talk to, but they still have their own consciousness and therefor have a "dæmon". Just like how there are some dæmonians who view everyone as having a dæmon or viewing their dæmon as existing before they put it to a thought and creation. Dæmon is just a metaphor in for the subconscious.

When people in our system front, their dæmon - subconscious - merges with Mebbit. This results in them following our body's consciousness as merging with their subconscious despite still having their own conscious state.

Explaining Our System's Collective Consciousness

Our system has what we call a "Body OS". This is a term that comes from the tulpamancy community to describe what happens when neither a host nor a tulpa are fronting and the automatic movements and instincts that the body does, but our system uses it a bit differently. In the way that we use it, the Body OS involves the core mental and genetic traits of the body; such as the collective memory and the "collective memory pool", natural instincts of the human body, and certain mental health traits and addictions. It's a handy terminology and metaphor for describing this phenomenon for our system.

This Body OS is the same force that keeps even those who are fully nonhuman from doing something dangerous or feeling a primal panic over all the strange new or missing sensations of a human body. It's also what allows us to mask and prevents amnesia. Most of us are entirely nonhuman and we have several walk-ins who have no experience in a body like this, but the Body OS can be followed along to not accidentally injure or socially ostracize the body.

That Body OS is what Mebbit is, and Mebbit can be considered the driving force that keeps our body working harmoniously. Mebbit has all of the available memories of this body and its traits reflect what this Body OS is. If we can't remember something due to dissociation, OCD, or depression, Mebbit represents that as well. Generally if Mebbit can't access those memories, we can't either. Mebbit is arguably the most human thing in our system.

This is a mostly positive thing to have as a representation. Mebbit is able to guide new headmates who don't know what's going on, and Mebbit also makes it so we don't struggle as much as we could have with amnesia or trance states. There may also be some downsides. By projecting Mebbit more, the traits of the Body OS get amplified, and that can cause some of us to loose who we are when we front, and if something is wrong with Mebbit, then that causes effects on the front. Mebbit can be emotional at times and represent our obsessions in particular. Additionally, when the headmate's dæmon doesn't fuse with Mebbit (which can be taken as a metaphor once again for subconscious and conscious harmony vs. discord), then that creates dissociation because there's a disconnect between what the body is trying to run and what the headmate is trying to run.

Mebbit's personality reflects what the Body OS masked traits are, but this can be ambiguous in and of itself. This means that Mebbit doesn't actually represent a "person". Xe is a personification of several nebulous traits where Mebbit itself is the person that embodies these traits, and this is closer to how a system might create a "systemsona" in something that represents how a diverse, collective group might look to the outside world. This reflects how we create collective self inserts or avatars in certain scenarios too.

While dæmon form analysis might focus on symbolism, personality, and archetypes, that doesn't fit our system with the way that we experience it. Our dæmon's form is instead based on the one thing that's consistent between our entire system and Mebbit's experiences: our physicality. Without a person and with such varied personal interpretations in our system, this is where we end up.

Mebbit's Forms and Representing the Physical Body

We have identified two categories of forms which Mebbit can take to represent physicality: location-based forms and physical species-based forms. The former reflects the world around us while the later reflects our personhood.

Mebbit's forms even around its inception leaned towards wildlife that is native to where we live. Mebbit has taken the forms of local finches, herons, rays, manatees, bugs, fish, spiders, and whatever else we might run into. It might take forms based on what it sees or just whatever we're collectively feeling that day, or whatever forms are most convenient for the moment.

It's a very fluid type of form. Because of this, it's not one we'd consider as a "settled" form, and it may change based on where we go. It's more a deeper connection to what we can see and feel with other wildlife rather than that connection to the self. These types of forms connect us to being a part of the ecosystem as a primate within it.

More permanent than the local forms, Mebbit also has a lean towards primate forms. These forms represent the body's physical species. A common view in our system among the frontrunners is identifying as a great ape and a part of the primate family, and we affiliate ourselves with other primates. It's like how in some narratives tigers might be associated with jaguars or dolphins associated with orcas. An aye-aye is a common form connected to this because it fits associations and symbolism that many of us feel that we represent, but Mebbit has also taken the forms of a capuchin monkey, squirrel monkey, and gibbon often.

Mebbit has also takes a human form. We were quiet about this in the past because we're not human, and humans can be considered gross or undesirable among other nonhumans and in places where misanthropy comes and goes. Despite this, human to us is still an animal just like any other, and Mebbit can be a human.

A Human Form and Human as Animal

Our system is not human, and we have almost no humans in our system beyond fictives. Humans are just a species to us among the cats, dragons, and fictional creatures that exist in our system. And as a system with parallel lives, our nonhuman lives are on the same level as this life as a human. For us it doesn't make sense for us to treat the human life as special even if it's the one of this reality's body. Some of us identify as the equivalent of "humankin" when talking to walk-ins or entities not affiliated with this reality, and those who have a deeper level and identification of nonhuman even more might identify as "humanhearted" even outside of our system.

The Dæmon Forum's rules for analysis have stated since 2011 "Humans are not considered a valid form because interpretation for human behavior into human personality traits is redundant", but if someone is completely nonhuman and can get into a state where they know what their core traits would be without influence from a human brain, human could still be a valid form when viewed through an animal lens with certain like traits.

If a human is an animal and Mebbit takes animal forms based on the physicality of our body, Mebbit taking human forms makes sense. If Mebbit can take the form of other great apes like a gibbon, why not a human? Our human body to us personally is still equally as a part of the primate family.

Mebbit's core represents a human brain and it's closer to human than the rest of us, and xe in some ways is the human while we are the animals. Mebbit being a human to us is still just as equal as Mebbit being a gibbon.

Our Dæmon and Being Trans-Species

Despite Mebbit representing our physical body and human being an important part of what Mebbit is, our system leans towards viewing ourselves as physically nonhuman in a broad, general way. With Mebbit being our body and Mebbit taking all primate forms, there's an extent to which we view the body as also being the physical identity version of cladotherian.

We identify as collectively trans-species from desiring and trying to represent nonhuman traits with our physical body and desire for being physically nonhuman. Most of what traits we'd want and try to strive for with our body fit into primate traits. We want fur and maybe a mane, a prehensile tail, a wiry body, and all while still having opposable thumbs.

Mebbit acting like a systemsona and being a collective identity can also make it easier to rationalize what we want for our physical body and what would feel right for it. Being a tangible representation of our mask and embodying traits that we have observed in our own system since before our awakening, Mebbit helps us visualize and understand what we want for ourselves as a collective.

This is the healthiest way for us to express our physical nonhumanity. Whenever other forms of our system's personal experiences with physical nonhumanity comes up, it is usually tied to dissociation and other unhealthy ways of thinking - we can sometimes get into states where we'll completely dissociate from our physical body. This is sometimes unreality to even our individual species and can still create an even worse alienation with our body. Viewing ourselves as a general primate is a compromise between the desire for animal traits while still being human enough to not create a trigger or unreality issue.

Under the lens of form finding based on a physical form, this experience is close to Mebbit's settled form and not one that is likely to change. Being tied to a physical body, it won't go away unless our body does, and in which case, we wouldn't have a dæmon anymore.

Settling with Physical Body Form Finding

"Settling" within dæmonism refers to when a person finds the form that best fits their personality or identity. This is usually in adulthood when the personality stops changing with so much frequency. As a system where our personality and self symbolism is always shifting and changing day to day, the traditional methods of form finding don't work for how Mebbit would settle. We all have unique personalities, histories, and interpretations of the body's representations and archetypes. Despite Mebbit representing general trends, even the traits of the Body OS aren't inherently consistent and changes based on factors.

Settling for us has been a realization of the nature of our system and our identity, and recognizing what our dæmon is in a form finding system that works for us. Mebbit might be considered the dæmon equivalent of a cladotherian just as our body is. Mebbit's settled form is broadly primate and not any specific one of the clade.

It's almost like how "awakening" in used in alterhumanity. Even if we researched various animal forms and tried to figure out how Mebbit might fit in other form finding systems, Mebbit's settling was when it finally clicked for both what Mebbit is and what our body is after years of questioning.

Indiviudal-centric and host-centric communities, forms of plurality, or methods of identity exploration can get complicated when presented with multiplicity. Dæmonism especially is something that's based so deeply on questioning the individual. Our system has landed on our dæmon representing physicality in a way that a different dæmonian might view their dæmon through a reflection of personality or symbolism. Mebbit is our consciousness and our body.